"I asked for, and got, a check 30 days after my husband left," she says.
"Too many men dodge their financial responsibilities, so waiting for that first alimony check is unwise. Newman says that a client of hers told her husband's boss about his affair with his secretary and ended up getting him fired.
"I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.
"It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme. She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take.
Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.
Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are.
If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros.
Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.
to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.