“I interviewed a black couple who went to a poly group, and they were definitely preyed upon, in a sense,” said Marla Renee Stewart, Atlanta-based founder of Velvet Lips, a sex education venue. And the article on polyamory suggested that maybe polyamorists’ high-flying lifestyle and expensive play parties price out black people.
The article constantly equivocates between “the problem is that polyamory is too white” and “the problem is that the media portrays polyamory as too white”, which is kind of a weird combination of problems to be discussing in a media portrayal. Occupy Wall Street protesters (unknown but low, one source says 1.6% but likely an underestimate). Forget for a moment that I’ve been poly for three years and had no idea this high-flying lifestyle existed and kind of feel like I am missing out.
Young punk-rock love turned into adult debt-ridden love. My wife’s skin is a mess, she has dietary issues that cause gnarly gas, she eats bad food that causes her to gain weight.
The trip was more important than the blog post, anyway.
But she’s let herself go, while I’ve gotten myself into better shape. I’ve been 100 percent faithful, I clean, I tell her I love her. So it’s hard for me to admit that I’m not cool enough to think my wife is hot the way she is.
She’s been there for me, helps me achieve my goals, all that. I always thought I was against the society-imposed, magazine-model, porn-star look girls are supposed to have.
When almost any girl you see is hotter to you than your wife… When the desire to be with someone who actually turns you on is overwhelming… When people you find attractive, women and men, hit on you all the time… HARD, you knew what Dan was going to say when you wrote him, didn’t you? Expecting your partner’s body to never change in the course of your relationship.
You knew that he would validate your disinterest in your wife, didn’t you? You claim to love your wife, and you claim to be a good husband. Or to somehow be able to change the smell of her gas to make her more attractive to you? Every one of us goes through physical changes in our life, many having nothing to do with our level of fitness or what we eat. Dan Savage gives the same advice to questions like this over and over: tell your partner you aren’t attracted to her/him anymore because s/he is fat now, and unless they lose weight, the sexytimes are over for good, and maybe the relationship too.
[…] A white, affluent image that reflects a troubling reality: A 2013 survey of polyamorous people from online groups, mailing lists and forums found that almost 90% of the participants identified as Caucasian. Some people try to explain black people’s underrepresentation on Wall Street by saying Wall Street is racist and intolerant.